Derealization Due to Drugs
(Calgary Alberta Canada)
Hi, my name is Sefton and I am 16 years old. I have been struggling with derealization for 3 years. When I was in grade 7 I started to experiment with marijuana on a regular basis. I had a good group of friends and a good home life. Near the beginning of grade 8 I tried hallucinogenics and amphetamines. During my days using I felt some sort of detachment from my ego and started to experience visual distortions such as things whirling and colors looking less vivid than they should. I put those feelings aside thinking they must just be side effects from the drugs I had been experimenting with and carried on experimenting (STUPID IDEA). Finishing off the year I experienced a traumatic trip on LSD and that created a flip in my views on life and reality, I started to question myself in this world and others existence around me, all my opinions and beliefs collapsed inside and I constantly have anxiety, fear and depression, my vision is askew and everything looks like I'm looking through a glass of water, all of my thoughts are scrambled and I cant even keep one thought in my head at once and the list goes on... I went to a psychologist to figure out what the hell was wrong with me because it felt like I was losing my mind. They diagnosed me with derealization disorder. Since then I have felt no difference. I have yet to go a day without feeling like I am living a dream. I am in grade 11 now and sober for about 3 years. I feel panic every day and I have no way to deal with this. I may have to add I have had a history of depression and anxiety during my days of using drugs.
Thank you for reading.
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