Family Stress:
Learning to Deal with Unresolved Conflict
Family stress is inevitable. Every family experiences times when stress is abundant and many times overwhelming.
More than anything, it is our reaction to that stress that matters most and will have the biggest impact on our
relationships as well as our own mental and physical health.
There are so many different reasons why people experience family stress.
Most times the stress a family goes through together in life is what helps them grow closer in the end. As we mature
and learn together, stress can be a good thing.
However, when stress involves family conflict, the reactions we have can result in great distress and cause emotional distance
between the closest family relationships.
With family, there is always some degree of change that is required as we grow and mature together. Change is not always easy but necessary.
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It's easy to have conflict when we see the people we love change in ways we feel is inappropriate or destructive. It's also easy to become
distressed, anxious and even depressed when the person you once knew begins to change in ways you never anticipated.
What can you do?
Although dealing with conflict in family stress is difficult, there are things you can do that will help you
overcome many of the negative emotions that you may go through.
Try to solve the conflict. Do your best to resolve
family stress together. Talk about it
openly. If you notice someone in your family making bad choices, it's your obligation to help them see
where they are heading. However, you must recognize that ultimately, it is their choices and decisions that will win.
Make the choice to let go. Realize that everyone is their own person. You cannot change anyone but yourself. I know it's not easy
because you want to do all you can to help that person change, but trying to do so may cause more harm than good
in a relationship.
It can be so hard to let go when you see someone self-destructing or making choices
you believe are unfavorable, but holding
on to something you cannot change will only make you sick emotionally and physically.
So how do you let go especially when you love so deeply?
Letting go must be a deliberate choice that you make for yourself. This does not mean
you love them any less than you did before. It just means that you acknowledge their personal right to choose for themselves
how they will live and who they will become.
Make the choice to accept. Make the deliberate choice to accept what you cannot change. When a family member is old enough
to make their own decisions they have to learn firsthand that every choice has a consequence. It is through making mistakes that
they can learn more about themselves.
Make the choice to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes family stress due to conflict demands that we set boundaries for ourselves
and those around us that are under our care. It is true that sometimes the pain of someone else's behavior can continually cause distress
and emotional pain within a family.
Healthy boundaries are necessary in order to protect your emotional and physical health. Only you
know how to set those boundaries for yourself. Do not allow guilt,
whether self induced or from other family members, to consume you for doing so.
Remember, you are responsible for taking care of yourself and doing what's best for you regardless of what others think.
For more information, please visit
dealing with guilt.
Stress Management
Of course, we can't forget about those stress management techniques! It is important to recognize how
important they are in keeping a healthy mind and body. When you are suffering with family stress, be sure
to manage your stress daily. Remember, a healthy body contributes to a healthy mind and a healthy mind contributes
to a healthy body. For more detailed information, please visit
stress management tips.
Have a story you want to share about family stress and conflict? Perhaps you have found something helpful you want
to share with others. If so,
share your story!
Return from Family Stress to Causes of Stress
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