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How I Overcame General Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Depression

by Dev
(Cleveland, Ohio)

My whole life I have been always sort of a worrier and an over thinker, but it wasn't until I was 19 years old that I was partying and getting high that I had a panic attack and a complete break down. I had been through a lot of dramatic and depressing events through out my life and it was all built up until that day I broke down. From that day on all I could ever think or talk about was how bad my life had been growing up and how this caused this bad thing to happen and how this sucks etc. In the same month that I had began having the panic attacks my best friend whom I considered an older brother had overdosed on drugs and died, I also got played by a girl I really liked, my car broke down, and a girl had got me really sick. I really thought that I was losing it and always thought I was going to pass out and faint or die wherever I was at. It was absolutely horrible. I was a great college athlete and was just getting into a great program. But I dropped out and moved back home with my parents. The next year of my life became so depressing that I actually began fighting in the inner city ghettos boxing gym just because I was that upset. I always had a mental fog which made my world a bit distorted and made me seem to be out of it or look high a lot of the times, also would cause me to talk a bit slow because I had a hard time grasping my thoughts. But I saw a beacon of light during all of my darkness and I truly believed in myself to overcome this. I wanted to get better and I wanted to come out of this an enlightened and better person. I truly believe that anyone can do anything that they set their mind to. You know deep inside of you that you are much better than you give yourself credit for and that you have all the strength you need to overcome any difficulty that is in your life. I exercised rigorously every day, ate healthy every day, developed relationships with friends that I never knew I was capable of, and became involved in a better group of people. I really enjoy competing in sports and consider myself good at it so I was always playing pick up games and sometimes I would be so anxious or having obsessive thoughts that I'd be going numb almost thinking that running around was going to make me fall over and die- haha - but I wanted to win the basketball game so bad I didn't care about my anxiety which made me realize how dumb it is to even let it control your life at all. The boxing was a result of me being in a dark place but that also helped me overcome my difficulties because even though I was getting punched I had to keep on fighting because I wanted to win so damn bad, which helped me develop the same mindset with anxiety, no matter how hard it hits I'm going to win and it doesn't matter. Also talking to people and being at social events would make me anxious but I kept on keeping at it continuing to socialize and be apart of social events. Socializing is a great tool for overcoming the minor problem of having irrational thoughts. And I'm still struggling a bit with social anxiety and I think people might think I come off as a bit slow because of how hard it is for me to talk to them sometimes -- hahaha -- but in reality I'm just all anxious and what not. To anyone reading this, it is okay and you are not alone for everyone experiences some difficulty in their lives, be the best person that you can be and face your fears. This is my story and there is a lot more personal detail to it but no one goes through life with out pain, pain helps you really appreciate pleasure and happiness. Also you must develop a rational mindset! and stay away from negative people. Thanks for reading my story and God Bless. Oh and I'm going back to college to complete my bachelors degree!!!!

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