Life Changes

by Casey

Hi, I am 27 and have recently gotten engaged and I am getting ready to move out of state to live with my fiance. I am leaving a stable job and This is the first time will be leaving my family. My date to move is getting closer and my excitement is starting to be replaced with anxiety. Any advice on how to cope with my panic attacks and nervousness would be great.

Reply from Sound-Mind.org

Hi Casey,
Moving (especially far from home & away from those we love), getting married, leaving your old job behind and starting a new one...all these are considered stressful events. As positive as these changes are, the stress level we experience can become overwhelming turning stress into "distress". Sometimes the anticipation of these changes, as in anticipatory anxiety, can have us overthinking to the point of scaring ourselves with the mystery of the great "what if".
Some of the most helpful things you can do as you make these changes in your life, are:

1. Don't overthink. Just keep focused on your goals. Keep your "what if's" out of the picture.

2. Accept your nervousness and panicky feelings. They are completely acceptable under these circumstances. You are doing something new & exciting and perhaps a little scary, and this is okay.

3. Encourage yourself as you move forward. No, this will not remove all your nervous feelings or take away your fears, but it will help to lessen the extent of those feelings and keep them within healthy limits. Through encouraging yourself, you will be giving your brain enough positive information to help support you through these changes. No doubt, you will definately feel a lot better and more confident in yourself when you have accomplished your goals.

4. If you should panic, tell yourself it's okay - because IT IS! Panic is something that we do to ourselves. It is created by us and can end with us. Remind yourself that no matter where you are, what you are doing, who you are with... no matter your circumstances, you deal with stress, anxiety and panic the same way everytime.

5. If you are having a particularly hard time coping, then be sure to make time for stress management activities and be sure to talk it out with someone you trust & who will help encourage you and be of great support.

Be encouraged Casey. Life is always handing us new things and we can be sure of that. Sometimes it seems that once we get comfortable there is something else that comes along and demands us to cooperate with more changes. Allow yourself to float through times like this. Resistance will only make things more difficult, so be sure to remind yourself to "go with the flow".

Hang in there Casey. Be encouraged. You are stronger than you think. :)
~Susan