Anxiety from age 11
Hi everyone. I'm Kat, I'm 18 and I have been suffering from anxiety since I was about 11. I'm not really sure how to do this, I just found this website but I really need to share my story and the stories I've read really relate to me. So, I have always been a worrier I was scared of a lot of things growing up and I worried about a lot of things that I feel no 11 year old should worry about. My panic and anxiety actually did stop when I was 13 and 14 but started up (and became worse) when I was turning 16. I was very anxious when going to places I wasn't familiar with. I remember the first real panic attack was when a group of friends and I went to Fordham my stomach was uneasy the whole way there and once I got there I felt extremely light headed. After a couple of minutes my heart started pounding and my palms became sweaty, I felt like my throat was closing, my heart was pounding. I felt like I was going to die. I kept screaming to my friends "I am going to pass out" After my friends rushing me to the train station, once getting on the train I calmed down but that time really really freaked me out. Every since that day in 2012 its been bad. I've gotten better but sometimes I have a hard time sitting in class and I feel like i am going to throw up (and that freaks me out even more and sets off more panic). But recently it's gotten worse and it's really bringing me down so if anyone has advice please please comment on this I am feeling so lost. Its gotten to the point where I get nervous going into the mall since there are no windows and doors on the opposite ends of the mall I get really panicky because I feel trapped and I used to LOVE going to the mall now I have to park close to an entrance and I really only find comfort when I am at stores that are close to exits. Not only that but in the city I live in we have a part that's very rural and far from the actual city ( about a 25 min drive from my house) and I have a very hard time driving up there because its this constant fear of being trapped. Its almost like this fear of going into a panic attack somewhere far from comfort zone or feeling like i'll never get home. I know this sounds so silly and maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal but I just get bummed out because its my senior year of high school and while my friends are worried about having the time of their lives I am in a constant fear of going anywhere because I feel trapped. An example, I have a friend who lives very far up in the rural part of my city and he had a party. Driving up I was shaking terribly and I had the sweaty palms (I had all the symptoms that I had that time in Fordham) so once I got there I had a complete freak out and I felt trapped, I felt like I was so far away from my comfort zone I felt like I couldnt get out fast enough and I ended up leaving I mean speeding out which was extremely dangerous because I could have crashed But when I have these feelings of panic I do anything to get out. I also panic when I'm not in control (ex. Im not the one driving my car and other ppl are driving. I feel like if i have a panic attack I wont be able to leave because I dont have my car) I could go on and on about this but I really hope someone could relate or just give me advice.. Im looking to go to school 2 hours away from home I want to study abroad in Europe and sometimes I dont see how this could be possibly with anxiety panic and these fears.. thank you to whoever took the time to read this whole thing it really means a lot to be heard by someone.
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