Life Changing Experiences
by Mariana Wilken
(East London - South Africa )
Hi there my name is Mariana. I'm 36 years old and live in South Africa.
It all started just over a year ago when I left a position of a Restaurant Manager to persue a career in Events Management and Wedding Coordinating. I thought this to be what I really wanted for myself and my family, a change after 7 years would do us all good.
However, soon afer I resigned I was traveling to town one day as we live 35 km from the nearest town (we live in a coastal village) and suddenly on the Freeway I had the most awful feeling that I could no longer drive. I pulled over, pulled myself together and put it down to change of work and a little stress. That was just the begining of it. As we know, what do we do best when in this situation? - avoid it !!! From then on I avoided Freeways. I constantly have anxiety attacks whilst driving and always on the road leading to town and back. So at this stage of my life I have to have someone in the car with me.
Over the past two months this has increased to random panic attacks such as in a shopping centre, at home on my own, even driving my kids down the road to a lift club and I'm talking about literally less than a kilometre.
I am so desperate for help. My husband is very supportive but my friends and family think I'm CRAZY - NEED TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER AND MOVE ON.
I have been seeing a herbalist who is helping with Natural Meds, however I'm still taking tranqullizers to get through the day. I need to travel with my work and suprisingly panic attacks don't affect me when I'm most busy or in the middle of a wedding or event. My business is very successful and I have done very well in the past year but feel dependant on other people! I feel as if I've lost all confidence and self esteem. This Disability is really becoming a problem.
Someone told me about CBT and I googled and came across your website tonight after midnight. I am so excited that I have found some help and some positive techniques. I am seriously going to try them. Thanks Susan - Baby steps as you said - but most of all - I have to find the real me again!!!