Moving to the new country, generalised anxiety and very important life lessons learnt from it
by Lazar Tomic
Two years ago, I have decided to move from Serbia (Eastern europe) to Australia for Good.
Just before i came here (Melbourne), everyone around me looked at me like i was the luckiest guy ever. Like I am doing something what many peoople are dreaming about but unable to achieve. In that moment, I have felt huge amount of excitement, fuelled by STRONG EXPECTATIONS about perfection of city where i am moving in. They say "friendly people", i was like "it will take me 2 days to find good mates and few months until i start traveling everywhere and live the dream life". Melbourne most liveable city in the world, they said .. And many other things about Melbourn which made me to feel like the rest of my life will be the magic ...
In first 3 weeks since i came to Melbourne, I have had situations and dissapointments which caused me develop GAD.
For my birthday(2 weeks after coming to Melb), i have heard that my mom ended up in hospital and doctors are trying to save her life (diabetic coma), and that lasted for next 3-4 days , when i have found out that my father (who never did any criminal activity in his life) ended up in prison in Hungary for some reason which i couldn't find out. (Been told about it from grandma who was constantly talking how she will jump under some random car on the street if he doesnt get released from the jail soon) . Except those things , my biggest dream, to work for Crown casino in Melbourne (best in Aus), made me feel even worse after i have failed medical check(apparently lower back issues) and had passed all other interviews (4 of them).
On the top of all those things, i have started checking everything to figure out why do i have constantly dizziness, feeling tired all the time and so many other uncomfortable physical sensations. After brain CT scan , doctor told me that something is maybe not good so i need to do MRI. That was the longest week of my life. I had constantly intrusive and obsessive thoughts about how i might have some tumor or something and how am i gonna die , etc ... 10 days after i have got results that everything is good with my brain , i was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder.
I would tell to everyone who would ask me "would you like that you havent had anxiety " -"No" without even thinking about it . I am strong believer that we get lets call them "puzzles" from the universe during our lifes where we actually learn more about ourselves by completing them/grow. Then we got some different one after we complete the previous one. Some of them are more, some less interesting, some can be painfull, but definitely all of them are coming with some reason, to teach us something. To help us evolve and fullfill the purpose of this life.
I have learned that we all enjoy living in comfort zone, where everything feels fine. But how much do we actually learn about our selves over there ? How much do we progress in any aspect of our life ? Hiding in Comfort zone can be perceived also as distracting our selves from the things that would come to us sooner or later ...
I am strong believer that everything is about perception . I have still sometimes hard times, it takes a while to adjust to completely new environment, people and to "solve this puzzle", but in general, after storm goes away, i find all the values on surface coming out about myself. Then i make decision to use anxiety or anything unpleasant as a fuel for personal growth (instead to turn into addictive behaviours such as gambling, smoking, alcohol, drugs or even medications) .. I am using it to keep educating myself, learning about myself, improving in any aspect of life and trying to make people around me feel better.
My anxiety is now much lower level then it was 2 years ago and i know that it will completely dissolve as soon as i start feeling here similar if i am at home (in my country), what i am planning to do by expanding social circle and having positive and good people around me, added on the top of the many amazing things i have achieved in past two years.
I am now remedial therapist, supervisor and administrator in Health clinic in Melbourne. Only 14 months ago i have been bartender in pokies(gambling venue) but since inhave realised that wenhave choice to use challenges in life as our fuel , instead to go into destructive behaviours, i feel that i am heading in good direction.
My next goals are to get specialised in certain areas of physical therapy in next 5 years, to run workshops about health related things and hopefully open my clinic one day .
Hope my story will help you guys to solve your puzzle .
All the best from the heart.