My struggle with my anxiety disorder and OCD

by Katie
(USA)

My name is Katie. I am 14 and have been living with bad anxiety since I was 9. It started when I was in the hospital and had multiple asthma attacks and had to get tons of shots!

I shared a room with a girl who was coughing a lot so she could breath. After I got released, whenever my mom drove by the hospital I would sweat and have such a feeling of sudden dread. I would cry, then scream because of what happened to me there but I eventually grew out of that.

A few weeks later we had our standardized testing. I started crying and couldn't focus the whole time. Then one day during class, a kid started coughing and my anxiety got worse. I screamed and ran out of the room in fear he would throw up on me and I would get sick. I started missing school over it. My mom got really worried and took me to a doctor. They gave me medicine and it started working really well for about a year.

Last December, I was babysitting and one of the kids threw up. I ran home crying. I didn't eat, in fear I would throw up and I didnt eat for three days. I weighed myself and had lost over five pounds. My mom then put me on more medicine.

Last friday during cheerleading someone told me that the stomach bug was going around my school. I called my mom and broke down crying. I again did not eat. I woke up in the middle of the night crying and would walk around my house by myself until I was so tired; I knew I would fall asleep right away so I wouldn't have time to think about anything.

I have been having a really hard time. To help me get through it I take warm baths. Water is really calming to me. I look at pictures of warm sunny beaches and imagine myself there. I also pray and I write my feelings down on paper then rip the paper and throw it away.

I hope no one has to go through this and if you are having bad problems like me, I suggest sitting down with a loved one. They will help!

Comments for My struggle with my anxiety disorder and OCD

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Oct 24, 2011
 My experience
by: Richard

I was worried when I knew about the symptoms of anxiety. I know I have the symptoms but I didn't know it was already an anxiety. I consulted my doctor right away and made some treatments with him. I overcomed my anxiety through spending time with my family, doing things that makes me happy, and keeping my self busy of doing things thats makes me happy. I was successful with it and now, I am cured, healthy and happy. I hope you'd do the same too. Now, I help those people asking what is anxiety disorder and I am devoted to helping those people who have the same illness I had.


-Richard.
May 30, 2011
 Thank you
by: Anonymous

Hi there Katie,
Thank you for sharing what is going on. As a sufferer of OCD myself, I can understand what it's like to be filled with dread and a paralyzing fear.

One thing is that you are not alone and it's a very brave thing to post on here!

A main action that will help you get freedom is to confront those frightening thoughts. Remind yourself that just because someone else is sick doesn't mean you will get infected, and even if you were infected - the likelihood of death is very, very small.

The root cause of your fear is a lack of control and death. You are afraid everything will turn catastrophic beyond your control and this is a very common symptom of OCD.

One of the things that really helped me with my OCD is having a faith in God. I believe that God is in control of my life, and whether alive or dead I know I am safe in his arms. I don't need to fear hardship, or poverty, or illness, because I know I have an eternal security in Christ. You too can have this security, it is a free gift that is offered from God.

When I came to God, he told me that my OCD fears were irrational and that I needed to confront them head-on. That meant deliberately resisting my fears and intentionally finding triggers. If I were afraid of the number '6' for example, I'd write it down on a piece of paper. For a while it was very frightening although soon I realised my fear was unfounded and unnecessary - my fear went away and I was freed from that compulsion.

The truth is, that because we have all sinned, we face death. We have all chosen to go the wrong way and to live out our selfish life. Even despite this, God does not want you to face death, he wants to bring you life, and that abundantly. He has accomplished this in the sacrifice of his son, Jesus Christ. If you accept God's sacrifice for your sin and believe unto him, he will give you eternal security. There will never be a need for fear, because God is always looking over you and after you - in sickness and in health.

Many blessings,
Jen.

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