I'm a 34 year old man who suffers from this crap. It all started 3 years ago when I decided to leave my old job and finally make some decent money after 14 years of struggling to make it. I am a father of 2 young boys and married for 10 years. I am also a helicopter pilot which isn't easy to say. I quit my old flying job and took a better job away from home 14 days on 14 off.when I arrived for new hire training I couldn't sleep at all that night and it snowballed from there every day I was there I became more nervous and restless. I was constantly feeling as if I was doing poor at my work. I then started to feel like I was dizzy and my face stayed hot. I then became confused easily and my bosses began to pick up on my state of mind which made it worse. I eventually got to the point that if they would put me in the spot my mind would freeze up. This made me eventually resign and go back home. When I came home I became worse. I didn't want to be around anyone, my face stayed red in public and I felt like everyone was looking at me . I felt like I really was going crazy. I kept on trying though and thought if I got another job I would get better. I finally did get another job after a few months but yet it continued the same old symptoms of being nervous in public, no energy, no sex life, and thinking that I was loosing it. I would be flying and I felt as if I was going to pass out or have a seizure and finally I took a flight one day and I had had enough. I got a few miles into it and turned around, landed, shut down, and got in my car and drove away. I didn't say a word to anybody I just left! I came back home and started back flying at my first job and my anxiety gradually improved. I saw a physician and they said my testosterone was low and put me on testosterone injections. This helped me a lot but I still had bad days. I eventually got better I thought and 1 year later I decided to bite the dog that bit me and try it again so I took a job as a medvac pilot. When I got to training the same old crap started again! Six days later, I dropped out of training. I can't stand this crap. It really has destroyed my career and it's took me 14 years to build a good reputation. I feel devastated, I feel as if I'm a quitter, or a pansy. I tried to tough it out but it's just too overwhelming. This has truly been the hardest thing I've ever done and I bear the title of US Marine. Any advise?
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