Anxiety and Negative Thinking Pattern

by Amy
(Chicago,IL)

First I just want to thank you for this great website. It really helps me to understand more about my situation. THANK YOU.
I am 30 years old. I had this panic attack in February and at that time I did not even know it's panic attack. I called 911 and went to ER. Of course the doctor did not find anything. I thought I was just too tired and had a coffee drink earlier that day + a minor car accident. I was convinced that everything will be fine and nothing needs to be worried about. I was worry-free for about 3 months until early May. I had another panic attack while I was on the phone talking to my friend and it was exactly the same feeling as the one in February. My heart was racing again and I felt that I was gonna pass out. Then I sat in my couch and talked to my self, "I must have some serious health issues". After several minutes, I thought that "maybe I have serious mental problem too". From then on, I am struggling with these negative thoughts like "I am gonna go insane" and etc. I tried to find proof that I was not gonna go insane, but I was SOOOO convinced that I was gonna go insane because I was having these weird thoughts constantly. Then I would think about all the worst scenarios if I am going insane. I've never thought that I am a "creative" person, but I could come up with so many different scenarios like in seconds. I just could not figure out why because I was such an outgoing and positive person before May this year. I was so worried that I could not be that person again and everything good will leave me. I am currently going to a therapist + acupuncture every week and taking a walk 40 minutes every day + meditation + deep breathing + eating healthy food/fruits + natural supplements ( I am working in a clinical lab so I had my own sample tested and everything is OK). Sometimes I would think " what should I do if I try everything and it's still not helping", although I've noticed that I had some improvement. It is so easy for me to ignore all the facts and go directly to the worst scenario again. I really hate this bad circle and want to break it ASAP. I also understand that it will take time and a lot of practice but I am so worried that something bad is gonna happen before I reach that goal. I think I really need some encouragement or suggestion. THANK YOU VERY MUCH^-^

-Amy

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