by Krystri Moore
(Rock Hill, SC)
Sometimes I lay in bed after watchin t.v, hearing things on t.v make me think I'm going crazy and I will never get better, scared that I would flip out and harm myself and family. It seems that nobody understands. I feel restless. I'm taking meds but still can't stop the uncontrollable thinking all day and night. I'm scared to tell anybody because I am scared that I would end up in a mental hospital. I went to church for deliverance but I always feel the same way before I went. I think there is no help me. Am I going crazy?
Reply from Sound-Mind.org
Sounds like you are struggling with obsessive, scary thinking. Many people consider this one of the most disturbing symptoms of an anxiety disorder and I would have to agree with that because the feelings are so overwhelming and can have you questioning your sanity each and every day. It's very hard to function peacefully in everyday life when these thoughts are taking over your mind and demand all your attention. One of the things that makes this problem worse is, the more you focus on them and the more you wish them away, the more they persist. Anxiety has it's sufferers believing that they will "go crazy" or "lose control" of themselves in some way that would bring harm or embarrassment to them. Anxiety will also have you asking yourself a million "what if" questions that usually leave you feeling more uneasy and scared than before. As scared and uncertain as anxiety makes you feel, it is important to recognize that stress and anxiety follow the same pattern each time. There is no real mystery to this disorder and even though it doesn't feel like it, it follows a very predictable pattern - Your scary, obsessive thoughts are part of that pattern. It does not mean you are going crazy or losing your mind or that anything bad is going to happen. There are many things you can do to help yourself overcome obsessive, scary thinking. Please check out The steps you can take to help break the cycle of repetitive, scary thoughts.
One of the most effective things that I did to help me overcome this was to just accept that the thoughts were there. I stopped trying to push them out. Instead I gave them permission to be there. I saw these thoughts as a "mind bully" trying to get the most attention. When I accepted it was there but didn't give them much attention anymore, at first...they get louder but then they eventually fade off into the background of your mind to where you no longer notice it anymore.
Also important is to put yourself in a position where you can relax your body. Because the mind and body are so connected, it is important to help the body relax so the mind will follow. You really need to treat your mind and body together as a whole. It takes a long time to bring the body into balance, be patient with yourself and stop resisting your stress & anxiety and instead accept that they exist - then place all your focus and energies on cognitive-behavioral techniques.
Please feel free to come here anytime with questions or if you need encouragement or support. Hang in there and do not give up!