Forgotten

by Stephanie
(Michigan, USA)

Three years ago I came to know Christ and for a long time it was very nice and easy. Since I was 12 I have been dealing depression and for the first few months after I came to Christ, I didn't feel my depression crushing me anymore. Now I see that it wasn't a fix forever.

I was raised in a home where you could pick whatever you wanted to believe in. My brother, at the age of 16, turned to Christ and soon after my older sisters followed. Being the youngest, I didn't understand what it was that they were believing in. It was only after moving away and going through such hardship that I saw why they were so happy. After finding Christ I finally saw what my brother and sisters got out of life; until the depression started to come back into my life. While dealing with all of the stress of being in high school, and being the youngest of a family of 11, I was trying to cling to the faith I had.

Ever since I was little I was the one that was forgotten. My parents didn't do anything terrible to me; I grew up with food in my belly, a roof over my head, and clothes on my back, but alone. My mother and father both worked full time and since I'm so much younger than the rest of my brothers and sisters, I spent a lot of time alone in my room. It always seemed that my siblings "forgot" that I was there. When I was about 9 I really started to feel alone. My brother and sisters weren't having the best of times fitting in with life and they had moved back home to live with us. Thinking it would be a good time for us to finally connect the way I thought a family should, I tried to get to know them better. They'd tell me we'd do things together and then forget me.

After moving across the country from them, I started to feel like they actually loved me, my siblings that is. My parents have always showed their love for me. As I am very into music, I joined a choir and always told my brothers and sisters about my concerts and invited them; even though I knew that they wouldn't come.

When my depression got bad again this past year I reached out to my eldest brother. He disowned me because of what I was going through. My sisters and other brothers are too "busy" with their lives and families to be there for me. I'm starting to feel like they forgot that I have feelings too. I also feel that God has forgotten me. I'm such a small piece in this world; I'm bound to be forgotten, right?

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