Intrusive and Unwanted Thoughts

I'm happy to have found this site.
So, I just want to say that I don't want to have these thoughts. I hate them and am really embarrassed of them. It all started this year in January when I dropped out of college. I just sat at home doing nothing for 7-8 months. IMPORTANT FACT: I didn't have these thoughts before in high school or college, I was normal and not obsessive and stuff. 19 years old now. For the last 7-8 months I have intrusive incest thoughts about my mother and other family (so embarrassed to even write it). I even started obsessing if I was gay or something - can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to do what my intrusive thoughts are about. I just want them to stop and to be normal again. I must say that it's better when I play basketball and my mind doesn’t have the time to think about anything else. When I play I feel very much relieved but when I come home I start obsessing again and feeling depressed. Last Saturday I was out with my friends and I didn't think about it. It popped in maybe 2 times but it went away in a couple minutes, so it's better when I'm with my friends. I think about suicide a lot because I hate these thoughts and can't stand them. I just want them to be over. I've signed up for college this year again. It's starting next month and I hope that the thoughts will stop when I start learning and stuff. Although I don't have any will to learn but I will because I want to occupy my mind with something. The reason I dropped out from the last college is because I don't know what I want to do in life. I think I have these thoughts because I am lonely and depressed about my life while my friends are in college and doing well. I hate them for not having to go through this crap like I do and they already know what they want to do in life. I think about this 24/7 and I feel like I'm going crazy! I don't want to have incest!! I'm so bothered with this that I get anxious even when someone in movies says "mother" or something. By the way, I can feel my heart beating really heard in my chest for these last months and I get a lot "pulse in my head" feeling. :((

Comments for Intrusive and Unwanted Thoughts

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Yes
by: Anonymous

I'm also in the same condition.... Just fantasy about my sister.... It comes to my mind more often for the last one year... Still battling to get rid... Help me God... I don't want to become ugly monster... Help me God
Dear Jen
by: Anonymous

I feel the exact same way you do! i feel like a huge weight has been lifted of my chest and i think this will be the first part of the healing. Im so so happy that im not like creepy or rlly incest. Thank so so much for the tips I'll be working on it !
Do not worry!
by: Jen

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've been going through the same thing for 3 months now and honestly I thought I was crazy but as time goes by, I've been learning to cope with it and just let the thoughts go through my mind and try not to pay attention sometimes. I'm also 19 years old and the thoughts started with just having sexual thoughts about my dad and I just kept thinking about it that I started thinking the same thing about other family members. Sometimes the thoughts are stronger than most times and I get really irritated and a little scared, but after a few hours the thoughts go away. I went to therapy and the psychologist said that its normal for people around our age to have these thoughts and that we are not crazy. She also said to not worry, that the thoughts will go away eventually. She said I have pure O (pure obsession) which is a sort of ocd and I've learned that I do not desire these thoughts. It's just the ocd trying to trick your brain. I know it sucks but I feel that I can overcome this and I believe we shouldn't let this get in the way of our lives. The best way to fight is to not try to fight it because the more you try, the more you'll think about it. I heard going taking Cognitive Behavioral therapy helps and I'm thinkin of taking that sometime later on. But anyway, hopefully we can be able to overcome these intrusive thoughts someday, even though I'm positive we will! You can try telling a friend or writing it down to help you relieve anxiety from the thoughts, that's what I do. I hope this helps. Good luck and don't feel bad about the thoughts. You're not crazy :).

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