I have just found your website and want to thank you so much for the information you have put together. I have been suffering severe unwanted violent thoughts and when my panic kicks in I actually worry that I am going to act on, or further more I come to think that since I am having these thoughts that I actually want to do something like that. The thoughts that go through my mind make me think that I am crazy. I'm not sure what to do anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to say a big thank you for the effort you have put in to help people suffering as I am.
Reply from Sound-Mind.org
One of the most painful things about obsessive scary thoughts is that they always revolve themselves around things we consider to be the most horrible. The brain will seek out every possible scary scenario so that you can be sure to figure out a way to make it NOT happen. This is anxiety at it's finest. It makes you think you have to protect yourself from things you believe to be out of your control. However, with scary thoughts, even violent ones, the reason they are so scary and upsetting is because you don't want them to happen. I personally believe, it is the fear of losing control that keeps these fears and obsessive thoughts going. One of the symptoms of anxiety and panic is the fear of losing control. This fear in itself is the cause of many other fears and obsessions. The fear of not being able to control the "uncontrollable". It is true that although there are many things we cannot control in this life, the one thing we can always control is ourselves, our choices, our reactions, our thoughts, etc. The truth is, people who actually want to carry out their violent, scary thoughts are not afraid or upset by their thoughts. Panic attacks make a person feel "out of control" and therefore it is no wonder people with obsessive thoughts fear they will carry out their scary thoughts. Mel, this is the job of anxiety, to convince you that what it has to say is true. Anxiety is a liar of the worst kind. It follows a predictable pattern every time, using the same methods to gain the most attention in your mind. You more important you think your scary thoughts are, the more you will find your anxiety using them to scare you. For more helpful information, please visit Obsessive Thinking:Ending Scary Thoughts
There are many books that can help you put all this into proper perspective and guide you into recovery. However, a couple favorites are Peace from Nervous Suffering by Dr. Claire Weekes , although this book may be hard to find (simply because it is no longer in print), you can still find used copies or even reserve a copy from your local library.
The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts by Lee Baer, Ph.D., this book is important because it touches solely on scary, obsessive thoughts. Both of these are good reads, so try to get them at your local library if you can.
Take Care Mel,