***Please Be Advised!!! If you are suffering with scary, obsessive thoughts, please do not proceed with the following message unless you feel ready to do so.
I had anxiety in my early 20's and it went away but left me with this constant fear of dying. The anxiety stopped for about 15 years and then came back with an attitude. I lost my best friend to cancer and it was so bad watching her die that way, right after my dog past away, and after that my brother died without any warning and then I moved jobs and so on. I started getting panic attacks again and then one day while sitting at home, my husband was working on a new closet system for our closet and I had a scary thought of what if I lost my mind and hurt him with a tool that was on the floor. OMG! My anxiety shot through the roof. I was so afraid I could not think. I told him about the thought and he laughed and told me it was my anxiety playing with my head so I decided to relax and watch TV, a show I had recorded earlier while at work. This woman slit her husband's throat and OMG there I went. I could not get the thought out of my head to the point were I would wake up all through the night just to check my husband. I was so scared I was going to lose my mind and do that. Has anyone else ever been through this? I stopped having the thoughts but the residual is still there.
Reply from Sound-Mind.org
First of all, I just want to say how sorry I am for your losses. It is evident that life has handed you many stressful situations in a short period of time and it is no doubt that all these things accumulated had trigged your anxiety, panic & obsessive-scary thoughts. For many people, this is what happens. So much accumulative stress and the body just does not know how to respond and so brain chemicals misfire, the body tenses up and the mind and body are thrown into an "anxiety ferris wheel" that lets you on but doesn't let you off easy.
It is not uncommon for people suffering with anxiety to have random, obsessive, scary thoughts. It is also very common, while in the height of an anxiety disorder, to adopt the scary thoughts, fears & imaginations of others. People who suffer anxiety have a tendency to overthink and are super sensitive to outside stimuli that could come from anywhere such as a simple commercial on television, the news, a picture you saw or even something another person has said that you have adopted as your own. I am glad to hear you are not suffering from obsessive-scary thoughts anymore. Please feel free to share some of the things you have done to help yourself overcome it!