Scary Thoughts

***Please Be Advised!!! If you are suffering with scary, obsessive thoughts, please do not proceed with the following message unless you feel ready to do so.
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I had anxiety in my early 20's and it went away but left me with this constant fear of dying. The anxiety stopped for about 15 years and then came back with an attitude. I lost my best friend to cancer and it was so bad watching her die that way, right after my dog past away, and after that my brother died without any warning and then I moved jobs and so on. I started getting panic attacks again and then one day while sitting at home, my husband was working on a new closet system for our closet and I had a scary thought of what if I lost my mind and hurt him with a tool that was on the floor. OMG! My anxiety shot through the roof. I was so afraid I could not think. I told him about the thought and he laughed and told me it was my anxiety playing with my head so I decided to relax and watch TV, a show I had recorded earlier while at work. This woman slit her husband's throat and OMG there I went. I could not get the thought out of my head to the point were I would wake up all through the night just to check my husband. I was so scared I was going to lose my mind and do that. Has anyone else ever been through this? I stopped having the thoughts but the residual is still there.

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I had the same thing happen
by: Anonymous

I had panic attacks 10 years ago. But somehow it was all about me dying. I recovered but the anxiety from it never went away. Not too long ago I was laying on the couch watching cops all of a sudden I had a flight of fear like I needed to get out the house I was praying so hard crying it scared me so bad that I felt like I needed my hands tied up Of fear of hurting someone in the house I wanted to get in the car and drive away. SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME …. I felt like I was losing control I had to call my sister for her to talk me down. I was scared to sleep in the same house with my love ones I felt like checking in to a mental ward it was that real for me .I have been going to therapy every Friday working through it but I have never been so scared in my life I have never ever wanted to harm another person I can’t even tell you what the thought was while going through the panic attack. I just adopted this idea that I was going to hurt someone then from there it was a cycle of what if I pick up something and just lose control. I was prescribed xanax to help clam my mind down cause I am a thinker. I over came it like a week later I felt fine little anxiety but no scary thoughts of what if... Then the other night I caught a show that was about a mother with postparm depression and I got a call from a friend that was talking about this girl I once knew just lose her children to social services . Here we go again I got scared again of the thought that I might lose my mind. I wish I could just shut it down .But once it creeps in its to late I have to work through it again. SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I work thank God that I can just relax and keep myself focus on work and it helps. I have been leaning on others and God to get me through this. Thank you so much for being so honest it helps someone with panic and anexty to know I am ok that others have had the same things happen to them . thank you so much for posting. If you have any ideas what a good way to over come this . Please help ,

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