Building Self Confidence
Taking Control of How you feel about Yourself

Building self confidence is one of those things that takes a lot of hard work and determination. Our self confidence, good of bad, has developed over the years and is been based on the perception we have about our abilities. Many times, we have allowed the opinions of others to have a negative and unrealistic effect on our self confidence. Our self confidence should never be built on what other people think of us, but rather how we think of ourselves.

Whether or not confidence is something you have struggled with since you were a young child or whether it is something that has happened as a result of your stress and anxiety experience, you can regain your self-confidence. I admit, it does take a bit of work but I promise it is worth every effort you give it. There are things you can do that will make a big difference in how you perceive yourself and your abilities.

These steps will help grow your confidence level.

1. Encourage Yourself - By encouraging yourself, you work against your internal negative self dialogue.

2. Try not to care so much about what other people think - When we care more about what others think opposed to what we think or what God thinks, we give the power of our self-image over to others.

3. Disengage your own internal critical voice! - We can be our own worst enemy. When you notice yourself thinking negative about yourself or your abilities, whether past, present or in the future, it is extremely important to begin positive, truthful self-talk immediately. The sooner you recognize your negative critical thinking, the sooner you can begin to correct it.

4. Imagine...mission accomplished! - Close your eyes and imagine the situation as if you have done it already. Visualize yourself being successful! Remember, the mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Therefore, visualizing will train your mind to be less threatened as you take steps towards the real event. Imagine how you would handle negative situations and end them in a visually positive, realistic way.

5. "Fake it till you make it" - I am not talking about denying truth, I am talking about an attitude of success even before you are there. Even if you are not exactly where you want to be, react to life as if you have already been successful. This can really have a huge impact on success. When practiced "being what you want to be, having an attitude you want to have" this new attitude on how you see yourself will become habit and come naturally with time.

6. Take Risks! - You will NEVER gain anything by doing nothing! Your life is up to you! You must be willing to fail before you can even begin to succeed at anything. Trust me when I tell you that it is well worth the risk! Try not to see yourself as defeated, instead, see yourself with real potential and then GET BUSY LIVING!

7. Be Persistent! - When you take risks and things do not turn out the way you want, take the time to encourage yourself and to speak truth to yourself. Building self confidence is so important. Whatever you do, be persistent and do not give up. When life pushes you, don't be afraid to push back!

I have to say that believing in yourself is a choice. Our actions should be a reflection of our choices. It is important to always recognize that feelings are always the end result of what we tell ourselves along the way. Learning to to effectively talk to yourself in a positive, truthful manner is a major key to success with growing in confidence.

Additional Resources

Tom G. Stevens, PhD offers a free online book called "You Can Choose to be Happy" there is an entire section dedicated to building self confidence and self-worth called "DEVELOP GREATER SELF-WORTH AND SELF-CONFIDENCE" that is extremely helpful.

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